to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize