it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
