I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
