walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
