The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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