so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
