guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
