Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize