a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize