maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
