i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
