Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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