well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize