if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
