What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
