toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
