his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
