I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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