"it" just moved
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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