I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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