Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish i was in the wii world.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
