1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
