Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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