im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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