I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
