she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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