If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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