True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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