here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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