I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
