hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
