I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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