hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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