if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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