the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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