Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize