she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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