I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
