what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
