what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
