My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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