So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize