Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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