The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
