I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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