Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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