3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
