do herpes really smell.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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