I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
