I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
