We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
honey bunches of taint.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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