My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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