Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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