Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
