you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
