I just cut my nipple shaving
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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