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• (248): View more from Michigan

  3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?

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• (801): View more from Utah

  sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked

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