If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?