He kissed a someone with a penis
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
