That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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